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Rob’s Blog Joke of the Day, lame jokes, bad jokes, robs jokes, a collection of utterly horrendous jokes! Jokes by Rob Scott

Microsoft release new Wrist Watch!

May 14, 2012

I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said, ‘Analogue.’ I said, ‘No, just a watch.’ (if you don’t know what the blue screen of death is you won’t get this joke)

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Ken wood

May 13, 2012

I went into a shop and I said, ‘Can someone sell me a kettle.’ The bloke said, ‘Kenwood?’ I said, ‘Where is he then?’

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Audi Fella

May 13, 2012

This cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says, ‘Audi!’

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Big Goldfish

May 13, 2012

I went in to a pet shop. I said, ‘Can I buy a goldfish?’ The guy said, ‘Do you want an aquarium?’ I said, ‘I don’t care what star sign it is.’

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Boredom

April 29, 2012

Dear Board of Education, so are we.

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Sun Beds

April 29, 2012

In a thousand years people will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment .

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Croc of…

April 12, 2012

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator

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My Lanny

April 6, 2012

“I made a new discovery at work today,” I said to my wife with a chuckle. “You’ve worked at Land Rover for a week, and that joke’s already wearing thin,” she groaned.

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Life through a lense

March 31, 2012

My mum used to beat me with a camera. I still get flashbacks.

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Budget 2012

March 23, 2012

I watched the Budget today. Also known as, ‘robbing Peter to rob Paul’.

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Pirate over ear

March 19, 2012

How much do pirates pay to get their ears pierced? A Buccaneer!

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How I use my iPhone

March 9, 2012
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Snail walks into a bar

March 8, 2012

A snail goes into a bar, the barman says”I don’t serve snails”and threw him out. 2 weeks later the snail went back to the bar and said to the barman”what did u do that for”.

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Lionel Richie working in Tesco

March 6, 2012

I went to the cheese counter at my local Tesco and was surprised to find Lionel Ritchie working there. He said, ‘Hellooooooo?! …is it Brie you’re looking for?’

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Breakfast Time

March 3, 2012

BREAKFAST.COM Halted…Cereal Port Not Responding

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Frog Parking Violation

February 29, 2012

What happens to frogs if they park illegally? They get Toad.

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Smoking

February 19, 2012

What did the elder chimney say to the younger chimney? You’re too young to smoke!

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Elephant Joke

February 19, 2012

What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through that thing?

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Litter my timbers

February 19, 2012

There would be a lot less litter in the world if we just sharpened all the walking sticks old people use

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My age

February 18, 2012

A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends 4,000 grand and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand, buys a paper and says to the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?” [...]

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