One Liners

Litter my timbers

February 19, 2012

There would be a lot less litter in the world if we just sharpened all the walking sticks old people use

October 16, 2011

Anybody who isn’t pulling his weight is probably pushing his luck.

October 2, 2011

Incest. A game the whole family can play!

September 13, 2011

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

July 3, 2011

Stop repeat offenders – don’t re-elect them!

June 26, 2011

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.